Alligator Church Ride

I have always heard that there are no alligators in Jamaica, nevertheless, I went off with Fun and Thrills yesterday to see if any had turned up in Portland and and take a look at their church.

While I saw dozens of churches on the way and even a funeral in progress, I never saw any alligators and not even a crocodile (thank God).

Nevertheless it was a great day out organized by the dynamic team of Charles the 1st and the other Charles, aka ayatollah.

While we the lowly pretenders (to riding) drove to Port Antonio, the dynamic trio made up of Terr-Ann, Johann and John decided that it was too dibby dibby a ride for them, so they opted to ride all the way from Kingston, leaving at 3.40 am yet they arrived in Port Antonio minutes after us who  drove out at around 6am.

The folding bike on the left

(Incidentally, John is a British man who is pursuing doctoral studies in the USA and is visiting Jamaica to do some research. He brought along his folding bicycle and since Larry told him about us, he made contact with Howie. )

In Port Antonio, we were treated to 5 star restaurant reception with mento band and all. Not only was the ambiance impressive at Anna Banana, but also, although the breakfast was morish, the mackerel rundung that I had was absolutely delicious.

And this place is on the beach just outside of port Antionio, a lovely little place indeed discovered by Charles 1st.

There we were joined by another Foreigner, this time from Ireland. 

His name is Colin and he is in Jamaica riding around and getting to know the culture. He too was told about us by Larry (Larry seems to be our greatest admirer!)

After breakfast we warmed up with a coast ride to San San, on a suggestion by Howie. On the return journey I told Pat about the  cute little church at Trident hotel and coincidentally, saw the security at the huge closed gate, peeking over the wall. We asked him if we could come in an see the church and not only did he oblige but also he took the picture of us with the church in the background.

On returning to Anna Banana we regrouped and headed toward our destination, Alligator Church Bridge.

It was  a pleasant ride on a reasonably surfaced road until we got to Friendship and made the left turn. The roads in that southern area leave a lot to be desired but the ride was not strenuous and the scenery refreshing.

 When we got to Alligator Church Bridge, some riders opted to continue on  up to Millbank while others waited until after they had  tested the river and eaten . The rest of us just stayed there the entire time swimming, playing dominoes and lyming.

 Of course I had to play dominoes with my now regular partner Chris and we dropped the big one on Carolyn and Fatman. Then Chuck came for his share and but after a few "bruks" (we were  playing bruk an spoil") we were warned by Simpson that the food was being rapidly consumed so we needed to get our share. So Chuck was saved from the same fate that Fatman had suffered with Carolyn!

While we were there, who arrived but the entire Assam family, baby and all and we were told that Penny and Stefan had alternated on the ride up to Alligator Church Bridge!

Monique, Chully, Carol

 The food was absolutely wonderful except they had no ground provisions and just a little green bananas which was all consumed  by the time we arrived. The only alternative was plain rice.

The janga run dung, busu soup and busu and janga stew with pigs tail was out of this world, almost as good as the first time I had maroon food in Milbank. 

The river was warm, deep and inviting although it had a slight current  but we all had a wonderful time and I know this trip will be spoken of for years to come,  as we relive the fund memories.

EXTORTION AT MEGAMART

I was today, victim to a most disgraceful case of extortion by Megamart, Upper Waterloo Road.

They, like many other organizations, in an effort to stem vehicle theft, give drivers a card on entry which you are told "not to leave in the car" and which you must  be returned on exit to prove you are not leaving with

stolen vehicle.

Unfortunately, today I lost my card, (right there in Megamart) and was unlawfully detained for at least half hour by an extremely rude security guard,  although I produced my driver’s license and papers to prove ownership of the vehicle.

That ought to have enough, but no,  Megamart has clearly now found a way extorting money from persons stupid enough to patronize their business! So I was forced to pay $500 before being allowed to leave their premises.

I was told that the $500 is to replace the card, a dirty piece of paper in a plastic which could cost no

more than  $100 to produce. To add insult to injury, because their card was lost in their premises, most likely,  it will be turned in back to them anyway so the $500 was nothing but plain, unadulterated extortion.

IF THIS IS HOW MEGAMART TREATS PEOPLE WHO OPT TO SPEND THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY WITH THEM, I SHUDDER TO THINK HOW THEY MUST TREAT THOSE TO WHOM THEY HAVE TO PAY MONEY!

Dancehall Dictionary Gone Ebook

The 6th  Edition of the Original Dancehall Dictionary is now an ebook available at Amazon.com for Kindle owners and it can also be downloaded on just about any device.

The Dictionary was project I first launched in 1995 as I became intrigued by the new Jamaican language being used by young people, a language strongly influenced by dancehall music.

 I mean, when  I heard girls being described as buffilous (meaning sexy) and a machete being called a 28, I became really curious as these new words and phrases had no relationship to what we considered standard Patois, our traditional language.

The first edition of the dictionary was only 32 pages and now the 6th edition is 184 pages. That gives you an idea of how quickly this new/improved language is growing among young people.

I have certainly have had a great deal of fun too keeping up with the evolution.. So for example, when they say "Gi mi a struggle pan di bady nuh dawta" I define it into standard  English as "May I have this dance please". 

The cartoons done by Shawn Grant to help me get the meanings across have been really funny yet explanatory too.

The paperback edition is also still available at Amazon.com.

Anyway I am absolutely in love with the digital age for I love to write and I can now say goodbye to printers who give you deadlines that they have no intention of ever keeping then deliver sub standard material. With ebooks, there are now no use for printers and better yet, you can up date them easily with the click of a mouse.

I am now excitedly working assiduously to have the 4th edition of  "Tour Jamaica" ready to be my next ebook.

Shadrach's Graduation

Daughter in law Michelle, Shadrach, daughter Michele, son in law Devin with baby Madlynn

I came up to New York on Friday evening and that was really quite an adventure in itself for I got to the airport at 4pm and we did not fly out till around 10 pm. For first, the generator that should have started the plane's engine did not work (I  thought they just turned a switch key) so the pilot said we had to wait for an external one to start and when that came, it did not work either, so we had to wait, strapped in on board till they fixed it. If I wasn't looking forward to seeing my entire immediate family which had all committed to come to the graduation, I think I would have asked to be taken off the plane at that point!

Mine is a really tiny family (one brother, one daughter, two grandchildren, two nieces and a grand niece and a grand nephew) but we are still rarely all together in one place,  for we live all over with only me being left in Jamaica.

Joan, Shadrach, other grandmother, Norma Wright.

It was really great therefore for us all to be in one place for Shadrach's graduation from St. Michael's Academy, his high school in New York. From there he will proceed to university in Tampa.

I used to hate New York from I migrated there in the 60's and ended up staying only 6 months before fleeing off to Canada. For in those days New York was a really scary place of high crime, lots of dirt and grime on the subways and other public transportation which were all frequented by Puerto Rican gang members and the city was really nasty and uninviting. Now it is the opposite and it is Jamaica that is now at that stage, except of course we have no subways and no Puerto Rican gangs, but certainly our own vicious local gangs!. Anyway, I am off on a tangent, so back to that scary flight.

Then the pilot told us that the generator started one engine so we would taxi down the runway and that engine would start the other!(Didn't they tell him in pilot school that such detail scares passengers!)

Anyway all went well until a long protracted screaming shook us all. This poor young woman who has an autistic child who had been screaming all afternoon, came on our flight and the kid seemed to have gotten awake when we were ready to take off and refused to put on his seat belt. Nothing they did could get him to do so or stop screaming. A guy  beside me told one of the stewardesses that he was a child psychologist and offered to help. I noticed to my amazement that as she spoke to him, tears of frustration were running down her face. By then, the decision had been made to take him and his poor mom off the plane so we had to taxi back to the terminal and find their luggage.

Anyway, all went well for the rest of the way and I arrived home in Mt. Vernon, without ever sleeping a wink as when I work on radio, I drink numerous cups of coffee to stay awake and it worked like a charm, unfortunately. Anyway after getting home I got a couple hours before going off to graduation. I have always hated graduations as they always drag on forever but thank God this was short, interesting and precise (helped by the fact that we arrived late).

So we got time to refresh ourselves before going to the get together at the wonderful Spanish restaurant Don Coqui to regale Shadrach.

So much food, such a tiny tummy!

By the time we got there, my brother Bernie (who had not attended the formal ceremony), his wife Judy, daughters Stephanie and Whitney, son-in-law Shawn along with his grandson Ian and granddaughter Gillian were joined by me, my daughter Michele, granddaughter Madelynn, daughter- in -law  (the 2 ll!) Michelle and son in law Devin, hence me saying in the beginning that my entire immediate family was in one place at one time. Also in attendance were Michelle's mom Norma and two of her grand kids Tajay and Marlene, plus Michelle's friend Elton.

That meal was out of the world. I have never seen such so much food in my life and no one besides Michelle and her big belly son, Shadrach were able to finish what they had ordered1 Everyone else ended up carrying home doggy bags, but what was the most wonderful part of the trip was seeing Shadrach graduate and having my entire family around at one time. We really need many more of these get togethers.