My Best Friend

My best friend, Hilma Walker died in October last year. I hate burials for since I was a child, the idea of being put down into a deep, dark hole has always terrified me. But she did not want to be cremated.

Each time I think of her, I tend to think of her being all alone in this deep, dark cavern. And that was just not her for she was such a gregarious person.

I guess this is what was in my subconscious mind as I dreamt that she visited me on Saturday night. It was not at all scary but quite pleasant. She looked exactly as she always did-beautiful with the exception that she had short cropped hair, not her usual long, flowing hair.

I was surprised to see her and asked her how come as she was dead. She told me she was buried alive and had to claw her way out. I touched her to see if she was a ghost or real and she was real. I then told her that I had been against burial for the very reason that one could be buried alive.

She laughed and told me that had she been cremated, she would have been dead! That has cured me though I would never want to be buried myself.

I woke up feeling quite happy as I remembered that according to Jamaican folk lore, dreaming about the dead means someone is pregnant. Hmm, I wonder for who for it surely isn't me!

Actually her daughter Marsha had her second anniversary recently. Hmm. I wonder!

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Maryland (in Jamaica)

This is the 3rd article in the series "Enjoyiong the Simple life" which is being published by Caribbean Today.

When most Jamaicans hear the name Maryland, they immediately think of the great US of A, and that is not unusual, since most Jamaicans know more about the USA than they know about our own fair isle. 

 The Maryland of which I speak is in the hills of St. Andrew, a mere four miles from Papine. What I find extremely refreshing and wonderful about Maryland, is that all “town people” can enjoy the peace, tranquility and all the best things that a small, pleasant, rural district has to offer, without travelling very far out of town. It is so easy to hike or ride to Maryland that I highly recommend it for anyone in Kingston or nearby who is feeling overwhelmed by the over abundance of concrete, smog and the stifling effects of city life.

 What is it about Maryland that makes it jump out at me? To begin with it’s the lush landscape, the pleasant hills, the fresh air, the elegant ferns and bamboo plants, the mountains, the tweeting of the birds and just how pleasant the entire environment is to the eyes and ears. For really, Maryland is just on the cusp of the Blue and John Crow Mountain range. You get there by travelling along an extremely lush, scenic route with both the Hope and Maryland Rivers making their presence felt, either because of the lushness of the plants by the river banks or by the calming sound of the waters rushing over huge rocks. 

 To travel up to Maryland you take the well known road to Gordon Town but go north at the parallel intersection to the east of the Mamee River turn off. At the next intersection, you again head north, for continuing straight would take you to Irish Town and Newcastle, two picturesque and delightful areas in the Blue and John Crow Mountain range. By the time you get to that turn off you begin to feel the pleasantries of rural Jamaica, cool, crisp, fresh air to breathe, an abundance of lush ferns and wild flowers,, a narrow road full of .corners around which most motorists blow their horns . The hillsides are dotted with cute, modest homes, some seemingly perched precariously perched and relatively far away from each other. 

 If you travel to Maryland on a Sunday, like just about every other district in Jamaica, the stillness is frequently interrupted by loud gospel music blasting from churches and even from homes. And also like just about every rural district, there seems to be an overabundance of churches of every type and recently, while we were returning home, all traffic both on wheels and foot, had to come to a stop as poccomania members dressed brightly in their white dresses and colorful head wrap did a ritual of several circles in the main road. On another occasion, we came upon another group of adherents marching in line behind a flag bearer and singing hymns and when we stopped to ask them to pray for us, they gladly did. On the way to Maryland too is one of Jamaica’s only cottage colonies built entirely from wood. 

This is a small, comfortable and attractive scheme of only seven houses all built from fire proof lumber and situated in the valley by the river. On approaching Maryland itself, there is a playfield where you may just see young men attractively outfitted playing a football match. Then you get to a huge metal bridge that spans the river, close to which a few business places are situated. Like most communities in Jamaica, Maryland also has at least one very talented artist who has drawn lifelike portraits of Obama, Michael Jackson , a number of local artists and community leaders, on all large open spaces. The town itself, it can be called that, has no more than about four shops and bars, a community centre and a few churches but what makes Maryland so special in my book is the community spirit.. For it is that community spirit which led the young men there to dam up a section of the river just below a small but cool and refreshing waterfall, with bags of sand. 

This they did last summer to give the children in the area (and visitors) a nice deep area of about six feet square, to swim, dive and frolic in. Some of the young men even stay there to act as lifesavers when the kids are out and the small ones head there to cool off during the hot summer months. That community spirit, the great food cooked by Coy who cooks in the community centre there ( Coy is a young man who says he was taught to cook by his grandmother. He cooks the most delicious traditional Jamaican meals) and the cool refreshing river water with the pulsating beat of the small waterfall, is why, Maryland has become our favourite destination on a Sunday morning. Yes, the ride uphill all the way is quite challenging, but it is what lies at the end of the journey that makes it all worthwhile. That’s my idea of really enjoying the simple life. 

  

Hiking to the Blue Mountains

(This is the 2nd in the series entitled "Enjoying the Simple Life" being published in Caribbean Today.)

You know a number of persons overseas like to talk about Jamaica being a one season country…….perpetual summer all year round, they say. However, I am here to tell you that we also have some very serious winters. I am not about to say this is islandwide but I remember having to turn on the heater in my car in Saldings, Manchester one night. As to the Blue Mountains, since we started gathering data on the temperature in the 40’s, the records show that twice there was frost present there.

Frost or not, it can get extremely cold up there. I remember once hiking to the peak to watch the sun rise and nearly freezing to death in the rush! We had set off from Whitfield Hall at midnight and reached the 7,400 foot peak at around 4am. Well, I am here to tell you that during the approximately two hour wait till sunrise, the blood literally froze up in my fingers... in fact, I can’t remember feeling any movement in them until we had descended to Portland Gap a couple hours later.

Despite that experience, hiking to the peak is an enjoyable adventure. Our normal routine is to drive up to Whitfield Hall, spend the night and start the approximately four hour trek at about 5 am, just before daybreak.

It is not at all as exhausting as some people seem to think, that is, once you are not totally out of shape. However, according to the records kept by the Blue and John Crow Mountain park rangers, only a few hundred Jamaicans make that pleasant, invigorating trip each year. I am told that among the avid hikers is a Jamaican octogenarian who hiked up to the peak for her eighty first birthday!

The path is well defined, although I suggest that first timers should get a guide. And naturally, it gets easier each time you go. I can recall, the first time I did the trip, some thirty odd years ago, I had to hold on to the tail of the mule that we had hired to carry our gear, to ascend some sections. That was when I was young and unfit! Now the only section I find challenging is Jacob’s ladder and in fact I find it worse coming down than going up as it has a lot of loose gravel and one can slide easily and sprain ankles etc.

Regardless of the challenges, hiking up to the Blue Mountains gives one the opportunity to really enjoy unique Jamaican flora and birds that you never see elsewhere. The path is covered with a variety of lilies and ferns of all colours and shapes. The tree fern which is extinct in most places in the world, is profuse and raspberries and blueberries are all along the path. Then there is there marvel of the Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee being grown on the most precarious slopes. I never stop wondering how people actually keep their foothold on the treacherous slopes on the side of the mountain to plant, tend and reap this world renowned gourmet beverage. But thankfully, they do without getting hurt.

The Blue Mountain range spans St. Andrew, St, Thomas and Portland and the view from every angle during the trek up or down, is just awesome. There is a special lookout just above Portland Gap where you can view the entire north eastern section of Jamaica and the deep, lush forest that makes up the John Crow Mountains. Looking at the vast expanse of hills and mountains covered in every colour of green, reconfirms every time that Jamaica is by far one of the most beautiful spots in the world and after each trip, it seems the beauty has increased. At Portland Gap too, there are facilities that can be rented to hikers who want to overnight or spend the weekends in the coolest, crispest and most invigorating part of Jamaica for just a few dollars.

Yup, hiking to the great blue is definitely one way to enjoy the simple life, but for me the trip can only be taken in the summer!

JOAN WILLIAMS IS A LICENSED REAL ESTATE DEALER BASED IN JAMAICA AND THE AUTHOR OF 'THE ORIGINAL DANCEHALL DICTIONARY AND TOUR JAMAICA.

Digicel Phones

In March 2009, I brought to the attention of the Bureau of Standards and the
Consumer Affairs Commission my impression that Digicel was bringing substandard phones into Jamaica and asked that the Bureau do an investigation.

While the consumer Affairs Commission got me new phones, the Bureau of Standards has done nothing to protect Jamaican consumers, so the problem remains.

I am therefore insisting that the Commission, which is mandated to protect the interest of consumers, call on the the Bureau to randomly check Digicel phones, especially the Sony Ericksons , for as we know, the Jamaican consumer hates to complain and has no problem "hugging up their losses" rather than on insisting on value for money. This makes Jamaica a natural feeding tree for unscrupulous businesspeople.

I am of course not calling Digicel unscrupulous, but I have to wonder about their philosophy on the issue of "value for money", based on my experiences.

In my case, they have replaced my original purchase with four, yes, four brand new Sony Ericksons, but every one they sent had a manufacturers defect in that the key boards go bad within six months.

Of course the average Jamaican consumer would go on, no complaint, but not I who am probably seen as a great nag and cheapskate to business people and even perhaps the
Consumer Affairs Commission, but that's how it it. For I firmly believe that all should be done to protect careless consumers from themselves and this is why we must insist that the Bureau of Standards does its job.

I am certainly prepared to testify in any forum as to my experiences with Digicel as opposed to my experiences with even Lime, where the only time you need to get a new phone is when you wish to upgrade.

Who Protects the Consumer?

Having recently been a victim of attempted extortion by the NWC, I am in total agreement with the sentiments expressed in the letter entitled "Extortion by the NWC" in Tuesday's Gleaner. Like the letter writer, I have tried telephoning the Marescaux Road offices (many, many times too), have emailed the person in charge of complaints as well as the PR officer and even had a hard copy delivered to the president E. Hunter at the head office, yet not even an acknowledgment has ever been received from the NWC.

Now when you look at how the NWC treats the public and puts that in the context of how the Office of Utilities Commission (OUR) treats customers complaints, you have to wonder why that department exists within the OUR at all. For according to their ad on radio ......If you have a problem about a service provider, you should speak or write to a senior officer/manager at the company about the matter before appealing to the OUR My question to the OUR is, where you have companies such as the NWC where no one replies to your complaints, are you saying to consumers "forget it?"

Let me however assure the letter writer and other oppressed consumers of water (and everything else for that matter) that all is not lost as there is one (and only one) body that was set up to assist consumers and does exactly that.

That is the Consumer Affairs Commission at Seaview avenue, Kingston 6. Unlike all the others that are set up to assist the public, this body actually delivers and as far as I am concerned, consumers would be much better off if the Fair Trading Commission, The Public Defender, the KSAC and the OUR Complaints Divisions were all locked down and and a fraction of their budgets channeled to the Consumer Affairs Commission.

When Dr. Phillips?

Did I hear right this morning? Was it a dream or was Dr. peter Phillips, senior member of the PNP and former minister of security saying on "Nationwide" that he was against the oppression that members of garrison constituencies are forced to live under?

This is a life where the don is the new slave master, the people his slaves who must do his will "or else" and where young girls (and sometimes boys)have to be ready to satisfy his sexual urges as the phone call comes.

The reason why I am surprised to hear this coming from Dr. Phillips is that large sections of his constituency are serious garrisons where the situation he describes so graphically, prevails.
Further, his party has the vast majority of garrisons, around ten.

So when did your Damascus conversion take place Dr. Phillips and what are you doing as a senior politician, to set the poor unfortunate people of Jamaica who by error of birth were born in garrisons, free?

Caymans River

It is said that Jamaica has more churches per square mile than any other country in the world. Given that fact, I am therefore not surprised that this is is also on of the most violent countries in the world with a murder rate that sees us in the top three in the world. For I have always found the doctrines espoused by Christians to be extremely violent. I will never forget the time I was speaking to a gunman who said he was a devout Christian. He said he killed people because he wanted to be like King David who slayed his enemies! I was not of course taken in by this pretence, but have always found that the more the people claim to be Christians the more dishonest and brutal they tend to be. Of course, I might be completely wrong in coming to this conclusion, but that is my experience.

Anyway, I don't know why my mind is straying to religion. I guess it is because I was observing with fascination a number of baptisms that took place at Caymans river yesterday while we were there . Most amazing was the fact that they offered to baptise me and when I enquired if one did not require preparation,.....bible study etc., they said no. This was just another of the thousands of churches in the island. I don't quite remember the name. I believe they said something like "Lipperman" Church and said it was international and their branch met at Baron's plaza on Constant Spring Road near me.

The ride to Caymanas River was very nice with probably about 25 riders coming along. It was an easy ride, flat road all the way. The water was great as was breakfast. My problem was the return journey when the sun was really blazing down. We took the shortcut which comes out above the toll road exit. It is really a lot shorter. I rode back with Andrew and he became a bit dehydrated. Anyway, a support vehicle appeared as we were at the gas station at Dunrobin Avenue and Constant Sporing road getting an energy drink so they took care of him and all is well as I talked to him today. I understand that Johhny Chuck, proably the most experienced rider in our group, was also affected by the sun and fell. Hope he is now ok.


More pictures are at; http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=logo#!/album.php?aid=201747&id=763366822&ref=mf

A Tengled Web

"Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive." Walter Scott.

Obviously Bruce Golding and his government never took note of this truism. For their defense of the "President' aka Dudus, who is wanted in the USA on drug and ammunition trafficking charges, we were told, was based on the principled decision of the government to protect the human rights of the citizens of this country.

Yesterday however, the human rights of two Jamaicans were abused ( if we are to believe the government) in that two brothers the Ffolkes', were extradited to the USA to face drug trafficking charges.

Obviously only valuable gunmen have human rights as far as this government is concerned!

Easter 2010

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Easter holidays in Jamaica are always a time of great fun and frolic and this year it was no different. While the “A team” of “Fun and thrills” decided to show their machismo and ride around the island, doing 8 to 10 hours in the saddle and the blazing sun, on Friday, the rest of us rode to Morant Bay in St. Thomas. We left around the same time as they did and some of us kept up with them up to the cement company gate.

Michael Chuck is a real Trojan, for while his family waited for his return, he rode with us only to assist in taking back some of the bikes in his pickup. That’s the type of dedication to the group that makes it one big happy family.

After the pleasant and not too strenuous 32 mile ride to Morant Bay, we loaded up into several vehicles for a day at the beach at Long Bay in Portland. That beach is known for its huge waves and is thus a surfers dream, but for swimmers it is simply no fun. So we had our meal there, played some dominoes and drank some liquor. We were honoured to be paid a “rest” visit there by “round the islanders” Heather, Michael and Orrel.

The original plan had been for us to got to Reach Falls, but unfortunately because it was a sacred public holiday, it had been closed by the operators. The Long Bay alternative was only plan B. 

Luckily for us, the Trinidadian environmentalist, Kim, who knows more about eastern Jamaica than most of us, had ridden with us and was able to suggest a great swimming area at Drivers River. Incidentally, Drivers River is the same river that forms Reach Falls at the top, but where the excellent section for swimming is, is at the bottom of the road. It was actually the local people who were in the shallow section washing their cars and a truck, who directed us to the perfect spot.

There, the water was cool and fresh and quite deep in certain areas. As a result the adventurous were able to go up to an overhanging cliff and jump off into the water without even touching the bottom. We spent a wonderful time there before driving back to Kingston.

On Saturday, only Charles and I rode, me up the hill as usual and Charles around UWI campus. After that we took the boys from the National Children’s home for their usual spin.

On Sunday I rode alone and in the afternoon, four of us, Nicole, Fatman, Charles and I went to Mandeville to join the “round the islanders “ on the last leg of their journey.

Michele and her mom were perfect hostesses, providing an excellent meal for all and accommodation for some of the cyclists. On Monday, we started the ride back to Kingston ahead of the A team. It was quite pleasant for me up to Old Harbour as the morning was cool and the traffic was limited. Damit passed us near the toll bypass in Clarendon. We never saw the rest until we got to Inswood in St. Catherine.

By then the sun was really pelting down and I couldn’t wait to jump into one of the support vehicles. Charles and Fatman finished the entire journey from Mandeville and Michael, Damit, Howie, Orrel and Heather returned to Kingston after riding around the entire island without incident.

We are really going to miss Heather, our real inspiration. She is a foundation member of “Fun and Thrills” and the role model for all female riders, for she has never wavered to undertake any challenge that the men come up with and has surpassed them on many occasions. Unfortunately, she has to go abroad to join her husband Johnnie. After riding around the entire island for four days, she flew out on Tuesday 6^th April 2010. But not before we threw a farewell party for her on Monday night. Stefan and Penny were the hosts and all went well.

Who will be the new inspiration for fun loving women in “Fun and thrills?” Anyway, as Francois Rabelais said, Nature abhors a vacuum, so I guess the position will soon be filled.

Walk good Heather.

For more photographs, go to; http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=logo#!/album.php?aid=199350&id=763366822&ref=mf