Working Behind the Scenes

I don't know what "working behind the scenes" means in other countries, but in Jamaica it is a cover for doing nothing. Check this.

On the 3rd April, the Gleaner carried a front page story about the Mayor of Kingston  and St. Andrew (KSAC) Angella Brown Burke being sworn in and it begun "Promises to tackle rats as first order of business...........

Anastasia Cunningham, News Coordinator

"As her first order of business, newly elected mayor of Kingston, Angela Brown-Burke says she would be working with the relevant agencies to undertake an intensive clean up campaign in the municipality, as well as implement a permanent solution to the problem of rodent infestation. " However, on the 12th September on page 2, the same Gleaner carried a story about the Supreme Court of Jamaica  which is located in the heart of downtown being overtaken by rats!!!

On the 23rd August, Arthur Hall of the Gleaner, wanting to find out why the KSAC was so silent, interviewed the mayor and guess what she said?

"I'm one of those persons who likes to talk about things when they are almost done because there has been so much talk and so many announcements that people have become cynical," said Brown Burke.

"So part of what I want to do is the behind-the-scenes work and talk with our partners ... to have the kind of discussions that get us somewhere," she added.

Another politician who likes to tell us that her silence is due to them fact that she is also working behind the scenes,  is  Prime Minister, Portia Simpson Miller. 

I wonder what her exposure will be about?

Chacka Chacka Mandeville

I hate bureaucracy. In fact, if  I had the power, I would  install large billboards all over Jamaica, saying "Bureaucracy is hazardous to your health". For if you take bureaucrats seriously, you must end up with high blood pressure!

Check this. On Sunday I was in Mandeville, capital city of the parish of  Manchester and as it was lunch time, I decided to stick to the evil I know and head to Jucci Beef for lunch. Thank god they did not serve lunch at that branch for as I was leaving I went to the rest room. Biggest mistake of my life for outside of a pit toilet,  have never smelt anything so foul and the floor was covered with water.

On Monday I decided to call the public health authorities in Mandeville for them to send an inspector there. Guess what they told me? They could not take a report over the phone as I must come in person to make the report!!!

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Now understand this, it is the job of public health authorities to ensure that all public places are hygienic and I imagine, even more so, those serving food. Now they are always complaining about shortage of staff, so shouldn't they be happy to get information that could assist them to target particular places since they cant cover all?

Oh no, such thinking is just too logical for bureaucrats I guess,  so if I do not wish to travel some 60 miles to make a report, this restaurant will most likely continue to operate in an insanitary manner. As I related this to a friend she laughed and said  I was lucky they did not tell me that in addition to coming in personally, I would have to fill in  six copies of  the complaint forms!

Oh poor Jamaica. If this country does not sink under the burden of unnecessary bureaucracies, we will be lucky.

On another  note, I had not been into that  town for probably 15 years, but my memory of  it was that it was a clean and ascetically pleasing place . Not any more for  it seems over the years it has been developing in a most chacka chacka manner and everything looks run down and disjointed.

I am no fan of the parish council system which I consider redundant, but every time I express that concern, I am told that  "Town Planning' is their major function. Well if what is happening to Mandeville and has happened to St. Andrew, Montego Bay,  Port Antonio, Ocho Rios and Port Maria,  are examples of effective town planning, dawg nyam wi suppa.

We Don't Need The Caribbean Court of Justice

As we  in Jamaica celebrate our fiftieth year as an independent nation, why can't we get it right?

Here we are rightly moving full speed to get rid of the monarchy and all other vestiges of that system including the privy council, then what do we do? Opt to make another external entity, the CCJ our final court!!

I make no bones about the fact that I am no regionalist and I totally respect for the decision that the people made in 1961 and therefore object strongly to all the moves being made to establish federation through the back door. The plain truth however is that all the attempts over the years have not worked for look at how Jamaicans are treated when they go to the other islands.

Just this week too I heard someone from the private sector on radio saying that their organisation has just set about doing been a cost benefit analysis of our relationship with Caricom. I suppose if we did not have a trade deficit of close to a billion dollars, they would  never have seen this as a basic necessity.

The fact is, Caricom only benefits the politicians and bureaucrats who gather to have a whale of a time at the various talk shops as they make decisions that affect our lives adversely and make no attempt to explain the implications of these decisions.

As far as I am concerned it was nothing but the anti-Jamaican bias that is prevalent in the region which led to not even one Jamaican judge being selected to sit on the CCJ when it was first established although we had to pay the largest fraction of the initial costs.

Anyway, the fact is we have extremely qualified and competent jurists right here and if we are really interested in true independence, as we talk about divorce from the Privy council, we would not be looking at half steps but would move full speed ahead to deal with the matter properly and in the interest of the Jamaican people, as part of our 50th anniversary celebrations.

  Let us have our own final court of appeal right here and what the heck, we can hire judges from other territories if the need arises, as it does in other professions from time to time.

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It's Not That I Am lazy!

Gosh, I really haven't don't a blog for a such long long time and people have been asking me why i have gotten so lazy. Its not that I have become lazy or am no longer inspired to write, but I have taken on this project and its killing me.

Oh yes it will pay massive dividends in the long run but I often despair about when I will finish. You see I have decided to turn my two best selling books Tour Jamaica and the Original Dancehall Dictionary into e-books and man it means transcribing them from Publisher to Word and of course editing and updating as I go along.

Of course the first great benefit is that I will say bye bye forever to printers, those unreliable and inefficient creatures and of course it will be so much easier to update the publications.

So back to the grindstone for as we say a Yard; If yu waan good yu nose haffi run.

Big Versus Small

As I get older, I have  come to understand how much Size Matters.
Got you didn't I?.

I am actually rt\referring to the size of countries for i have now become become addicted  to small countries. Not too small like Cayman or St. Kitts, but small like Jamaica.  You see, too small has its disadvantages, the worst being that everyone knows your business!

Jamaica is  just the perfect size for me. Its big enough and the city large enough that your business can remain your business and  if one wants to go anywhere at all in this beautiful island, maximum travel time?  4 hours. Imagine 4 hours from big city to a perfect hide away, or a wonderful white sand beach or a challenging mountain. And that is if you do not want to fly.

On the other hand, in big countries like Guyana, Brazil or the USof A, everywhere you want to go to takes a lot of planning, a lot of trouble and a lot of money. Sure you can fly, but who really wants the hassle of airports and security more than one has to?

Thank God for putting me in the most beautiful country in the world and the perfect size to boot. 

Caymanas River

Caymanas River in St. Catherine is probably one of Kingston's best kept secrets. For despite the fact that this lovely place to swim and pleasantly pass the time, is only around 15 minutes  drive from Half- Way Tree, not many persons wanting to cool off, go there.

Those who visit regularly are  persons wanting to be baptised. I don't know how the tradition started, but apparently in  "Christian Jamaica," there is this myth that there is something spiritual about those waters, hence on weekends there is a constant trek by Christians, mainly travelling in buses, to go there and do what John The Baptist said was necessary to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Dipping to get the holy spirit

So anxious are some religious leaders are to pass on the spirit, that one Sunday when I was there, one offered to baptise me there and then, no preparation whatever!!!!!

The area did go through a very bad spell some years ago because some '"bright men from the community decided to start charging people who went there. Apparently this because so lucrative, that they started to fight over the spoils leading to the death by some 9 persons in a very short period of time.

This then forced the owners, the government owned Urban Development Corporation to step in and fence off the area and provide security.

After a while they seem to have withdrawn and now the community has taken over the attraction (I doubt that they have a legitimate lease however) and are running it nicely.

They now provide secure parking, there are people sweeping sand keeping the place clean as a whistle and divers and children remove the seaweed from the swimming areas leaving it really clean, beautiful and perfect for swimming, .

 In addition shops have sprung up offering all you need on such occasions and of course there is the blaring music to keep you up to date with the latest dance hall hits. 

I just hope it remains like this, a good progressive community money earning effort and never again regresses to the stage where some violent idiot with a gun tries to control it all and spoil it for all of us.

R. Kelly Sucks

I really don't think Jamaica needs R. Kelly.

The first time he came here, he dropped his pants on stage. Big disrespect or should I say, no big thing!


Then last year he should have come for I think it was Jazz Festival and he dropped out at the last minute. But guess what? Coco Tea substituted for him and did a fantastic job, much better crowd response than Kelly would have received.


Don't get me wrong. I think he is extremely talented but seems to have too many issues.

I wanted to see Shabba at Sumfest (who I hear brought down the house) more than him, but unfortunately, I could not get there Friday night so had to settle for Saturday night when Kelly was the head- liner.

Well to begin with, he was almost an hour late and did not even bother to apologise, instead saying he was a bit tipsy as he had been on the beach drinking. Very irresponsible and disrespectful. Then his 45 minute performance was no big thing, only a few of his many hits near the end.

On the other hand, Juniour Gong, Christopher Martin and Protege were excellent all the way and so was a new upcoming artist called Concious.


I am not at all chauvinistic so I don't mind listening to  and watching foreign artists at these events but I think we have had enough of R. Kelly.